


So long as the Heart is Willing

by Spiderlillies



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Slow Burn, discussion of insecurity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 23:56:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9852698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spiderlillies/pseuds/Spiderlillies
Summary: During a challenging battle, Lance learns he is not pivotal in the forming of Voltron. With his confidence shaken and his entire purpose for being on the team stripped away from him, Lance struggles with his homesickness and personal demons. Pidge ends up being the only thing to keep him tethered to his usual personality. He doesn't mind keeping up the act for them but how long can he manage to hide his intention to disband from team voltron and how is Pidge going to convince him that that's the stupidest idea ever.This story is going to start and stop a lot in random moments in time. kind of one-shot like. this is prior to season 2's ending.





	1. Realization

**Author's Note:**

> green and blue lions are girls in my world... I have nothing to add to that.  
> Dreamworks seems to go out of their way to not discuss Pidge using female or male pronoun so I'd like respect their wishes and refer to Pidge using they and them.

There is no mission that doesn’t have risks. Pidge knew that and accepted that at least, they thought they did.  However, seeing one of their closest friends be attacked by a giant snake beast, and realizing that at that moment there was nothing they could do but watch as Keith cradled him in his arms and Hunk distracted the beast, opened their eyes to the fact they hadn’t truly accepted anything.

_“Pidge!” Shiro shouted over the intercom of his lion. Their hazel eyes snapped back onto the onslaught befalling the village the paladins had come to assist, only to realize a little too late it had been a trap by the Galra.  “We have to distract the serpents while the others get to their lions.”_

_“Shiro, Lance is down!” Hunk reported. “And I mean **down** , the serpents seem to be able to dispel venom from a close enough range.”_

_“Like a spitting cobra.” Keith added. “Idiot…” he whispered and carried Lance on his shoulder. The team knew he there was no malice in the insult, after all it was Lance’s selfless desire to protect an elderly villager that had landed him in this position._

_“You saw what happened to the villagers, 3 hours after the poison set in…”Hunk paused refusing to finish the sentence._

_“Keith and Hunk, I need you to get to your lions.” Shiro commanded. “We have to focus, the village was just a distraction their trying to destroy the castle.”_

_“What about Lance?” Keith demanded. “The shaman’s temple, that flower bath thingy, it worked like an anti-venom right? It’s closer than the castle we need to get him there!”_

_Pidge said nothing as they blasted serpent after serpent clearing a path for the paladins and the straggling villagers. Words seemed to form a lump in their throat._

_“if you continue to clear the path as you are, we will take your friend.” A female villager spoke up.  The crowd around nodded in agreement._

_“I don’t mean to be rude but you’ve got plenty of your own people who need an anti-venom why would we trust you’d just hand it over to a stranger? “Hunk replied skeptically._

_“Because that stranger was willing to give his life for one of us.”_

_“we’ve got no choice but to trust them.” Shiro ordered._

_The lion-less paladins give Lance one last remorseful glance and head to their lions._

_“Princess, have you  been able to contact Coran?” Shiro inquired as he covered Keith’s path to his lion._

_“Yes, he’s defending the Castle to the best of his abilities but these fleets are no joke.” She responded. The princess had been treating the injured in the shaman’s temple and now rode on one of their giant domesticated lizards to the battlegrounds._

_“We need to form Voltron, we’re working with a time table now.” Shiro replied. “Who knows if the shaman’s medicine will do the trick and the cryochamber can’t help anyone who’s already gone.”_

_“Hello, Lance is down! We can’t form Voltron without him!” Hunk reminded finally piloting his lion. Keith made a similar comment as he entered his own._

_“That’s not necessarily true, is it princess?” Shiro confessed remembering the fragments of the past the black lion had shared with him. Allura said nothing for a moment and took a deep breath._

_“Get me an opening.” She finally replied._

_“I don’t believe it.” Pidge mustered._

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Pidge wishes they could remember the rest in fine and vivid detail but they couldn’t.  It’s easy to pretend their mind thinks in just numbers and facts but the truth was that battle was all heart with each paladin carrying the burden of Lance’s absence in their minds.

It had been four days since the attack, and despite Lance’s survival and their victory, a heavy tension seemed to hang over the team’s head.

Allura seemed to be doing everything possible to avoid Shiro even going as far as to ignore him when he called out to her. Coran had settled for just being a little more indifferent but it was evident that he was as unhappy with him as the princess was.

Lance had been treated by the shaman’s anti-venom when the paladins arrived to rescue him but they insisted he spend a day in the cryochamber just to be safe as his demeanor seemed very odd.

At first they everyone just assumed to was him recovering from the poison but as the days passed it was evident something else was wrong. He seldom came out of his room and when he did it was for routine things such as food, training, and oddly enough working with Coran.

Pidge, Hunk, and Keith were struck in the middle of this friction and walked around eggshell when having to share a room with Allura and Shiro. While with Lance they felt like a bad sideshow circus act doing everything they could to get a smile or laugh out of him. When they’d get lucky he’d curve his lips into the smallest of smiles but it never really reached his eyes.

On the third day, Pidge bumped into him as he exited the training room. A million questions were at the tip of their tongue but not one seemed to come out.

                “Hey!” they started awkwardly. Lance glanced either unaware of their awkwardness or unfazed by it.

                “Hey.” He replied.

                “so um, I’m kind of getting sick of beating Hunk all time at video games and Keith’s so bad I don’t even want him touching the controller anymore…” Pidge started. “You should come by my room it’s been a while since we just… hung out.” They finished lamely.

                “… I would but I’m helping Coran with some maintenance stuff and I’m usually exhausted after that.”   

                “Oh yeah, I’m sure… some other time then.”

                “Yeah… some other time.” He repeated but even the way he echoed the words let Pidge know they were a lie. He departed to his room after a quick goodbye.

As they entered room, Pidge overheard Keith and Hunk discussing Lance’s odd behavior.

                “It’s like he’s just running through the motions, he’s not even trying.” Keith commented as they played back the tape. “Look right there, that shot should have been a cinch.”

                “It’s not just training, he’s barely eating.” Hunk added. “He used to give the mice scraps here or there but now, he might as well give them the plate.”

                “I’ve tried speaking with him but he keeps reassuring me everything is fine.”Shiro reported as listed their concerns.

                “Well clearly it’s not.” Pidge interjected.

                “This is Lance we’re talking about; he wears his emotions on his sleeves.” Shiro replied. “When he’s ready, he’ll tell us what he needs from us.”

                “Do you think it’s like a side effect of the venom?”

                “I already checked out his stats from his cryochamber sleep. Everything checks out.”Pidge ruled out.

                “Maybe it’s psychological.” Keith offered. “We’ve been in near death situations before but I mean he’s personally been at death’s door twice now, that’s a lot for some people.”

                “So like PTSD?”

                “It’s possible, if that’s the case all we can do is be here for him.” Shiro advised. “Stop babying him, the sooner you treat him normally, the sooner he might want to get back into the swing of things.”

                “Speaking of getting back to normal, when is that happening with you and the princess?” Hunk started up leading Pidge and Keith to look away awkwardly. “I mean, I can’t be the only that’s notice she’s ignoring you and avoiding you like the plague.”

                “She’s… upset.”

                “Is it because you revealed that her dad, Zarkon, her, and two other people were the original paladins and that she used to be like total besties with all of them including Zarkon?”Hunk continued.

                “Much like Lance, when she’s ready, we’ll talk.” Shiro finalized exiting the room.

                “It was totally that.” Hunk confirmed.

 

To be continued...


	2. Drastic Measures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slow chapter- 3 and 4 will hopefully be up by Thursday.

“Alright hold it there a few more ticks.” Coran instructed as he welded the pipe shut. “Perfect!”

                “Glad to hear it, I thought my arm was going numb.” Lance admitted with a small smile.

                “How about we go get us some well-earned lunch, after doing maintenance on all these pods I’d say we deserve it.”

                “Already?”

                “Lance, it’s been four hours since you came down.”

                “I guess, I just thought we’d get more done by now.”

                “We’ve done plenty, and with all your help lately I’m two days ahead of schedule on most of my work.” Coran corrected. “I might need you to get poisoned a bit more often.” He joked jabbing lightly at the paladin.

                “Yeah maybe…”Lance agreed rubbing the arm he’d jabbed. Seeing that his joke was taken at face value the Altean placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder.

                “Lance, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t make light of something like that.” Coran started. “You’re still a child after all.”

                “No it’s okay, I’m fine.” The blue paladin reassured mustering the best smile he could. Unfortunately for him, Coran had lived long enough to know when a man’s heart heaved with sorrow.

                “I think we both know that’s not true.” The Altean replied. “Come on, son; let’s have us a chat over some of that leminage, Hunk made.”

                “It’s lemonade.”

                “Sure, sure.”  Coran agreed.

Their walk to the kitchen was brief; Coran did most of the talking. Lance just nodded and smiled as the Stewart of the castle let him know it was normal to feel nervous or odd after a skirmish with death.

                “Even the mightiest of paladins had their confidence shaken after a tiff like that.”

Lance nodded and gave a spoonful of lemonade to the mice.

                “Coran…” Lance started with a hesitant voice. “… Can you tell me a little bit more about the blue lion?”

                “you’re her paladin, what can I tell you that you already don’t know.”

                “when my heart connects with her, its like… it’s like she’s a mom. She guides me but she also trust me to make decisions, she protects me but isn’t afraid to let me get into danger.”

                “That’s Blue alright.”Coran confirmed.

                “When we first met you and the princess, she explained that each lion had like a… like a personality or way of being you had to be in order to pilot them.” He reminded. “But she didn’t say that about Blue.”

                “Well that’s because the blue lion is the most accepting of a  new pilot, so long as the heart is willing, her heart will accept them.” The stewart explained.

                “So… really anyone can pilot her.” He inquired with a weak voice.

                “So long as their heart is willing to be a paladin, yes.” Coran repeated. “and it’s a good thing too, son, if it weren’t for that you wouldn’t be here, maybe none of the paladin would be.”he highlighted placing a fatherly hand on the boy’s shoulder.

                      “trust me, they would have found this place, they would’ve found Blue without me.” He began. “it’s their destiny.”

               “Then who’d help me maintain the castle? Certainly not the mice!” Coran huffed. Lance laughed genuinely for the first time in a long time.

His laughter rang through kitchen and into the hallway where Pidge was listening in. The brunette placed their head against the hallway and clutched their heart.

                “Why didn't I realize it sooner… “They’d never admit that hearing him laugh so heartily removed a 1,000 pound weight off their chest. “He's worried about his place on the team.”

                 “Pidge, is that Lance laughing?” At the sound of the Altean princess’s voice, Pidge tried to seem less glum.

                  “Yes, princess it seems like he might be in better spirits.” The engineer smiled.

             “I'm so glad.” The princess sighed. “I've been so worried about him.”

                “Princess is that you?” Coran called out from the open doorway. “Come on in, I don’t think I’ve seen you all day!”

                 “We’ll have to fix that won’t we.” She laughed taking Pidge by the hand and eagerly heading towards the kitchen. Maybe it was the fact that Pidge heard him laughing only seconds ago, that made seeing such a sober faced Lance as they entered feel like such a shock.

                “Afternoon.” the princess greeted though her chipper demeanor seemed to melt the sight of Lance’s stoic face.

                 “Hey.” he mustered avoiding her gaze. His eyes set on Pidge and his gaze seemed to soften. “Hey” he welcomed with a smile. The engineer would never admit it but their heart fluttered just a little at the idea of Lance being happy to see them.

                 “Hey yourself… any lemonade left?” The green paladin inquired as nonchalantly as they could.

                 “Ah that's gonna be a no.” He admitted. “The mice kinda went crazy for the stuff.”

                “Bummer, guess it's just goo for me.” He smiled at their seeming misfortune.

                “Yup, hey listen you mind helping me out with something later.” Lance asked in sort of hushed tone. “Nothing big, just wanted to learn how to fix up the pods in case, you know, Hunk and you both get called away to some mission.”

                   “Thinking ahead for the future huh, looks like Shiro’s training is paying off.” Pidge smiled. “Sure.”

                 “I guess.” He shrugged. “Come by my room later.”

                 “Yeah, sure.” Pidge agreed. It been awhile since she’d been in his room, usually they hung out in Pidge’s. Now that they dwelled on it, they were pretty casual with each other’s personal space. Pidge wasn’t sure what that meant… but-

                     “Well that was odd.” Allura voiced breaking Pidge from their thoughts.

                 “We hang out in each other's room all the time.”Pidge replied trying to sound casual.

                   “I meant how he avoided me.”Allura corrected. “I had my suspicions but now I'm sure he is.”

The kitchen door opened at that moment to reveal Shiro,Hunk and Keith. Allura looked away as they greeted everyone.

                 “Speaking of avoiding.” Pidge whispered.

                 “I think I'll be taking my leave.” Allura announced. Shiro avoided her gaze.

                  “I do too.” Coran joined in.

                   “Alright, hold up this has been going on for too long.” Hunk fretted as the voice of reason.

                   “Hunk’s right, you two need to talk this out.” Pidge chimed in. Allura huffed at her betrayal.

                  “… I suppose with all that's happening there should be peace in the midst of our ranks.” Coran added reflectively.

                    “Oh yeah, Coran you've been mad at Shiro too, right, I forgot.” Hunk confessed.

                    “Well I never, I'll have you know I've left people in tears at the thought of losing my companionship.” The Stewart berated.

                 "I haven’t lost it though, have I?” Shiro asked with a solemn, tentative voice.

                    Oh Shiro, of course you haven’t, but you and her highness have a lot to discuss.”

                      “I have nothing to say.”Allura retorted.

                     “If she won't acknowledge me, there's nothing to be done.” Shiro declined.

                    "This just like the time her majesty and your father had a tiff because you'd decided to join him on the front lines.” Coran chirped. “There’s only one thing that's going to fix this.”

                     “Oh no, you don't mean!”

                      “Oh but I do!”

                     What is he talking about?” Shiro demanded.

Coran with a speed that even Keith considered impressive managed to drag the younger paladins out of the kitchen. He closed the door and pulled up the online system.

                    “What are you-

                    “He's locking them in.” Pidge answered with a raised eyebrow. That was a bold move even for Coran.

                  “Yeah, that's not going to work. Allura’s got super strength and Shiro’s … Shiro!” Hunk replied.

                 “That door’s designed to stop Galra troops like all the other doors in the castle.” Pidge reminded. “It’s still going take them a while.”

                   “Coran, I order you to open this door!” Allura’s demanded through the door.

                   “I can’t, princess it will open in the designated time in about 2 hours.”Coran explained twirling his mustache. “Of course, Pidge could override the door if you decide to talk.”

                    “I'm willing.” Shiro replied.

                   "Well I’m eating lunch.” Allura retorted, unamused.” I waited 10,000 years for freedom; I think I can wait 2 hours.”

Shiro just sighed and leaned against the wall. This was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the grammar errors.


	3. The Question

                “What so he just locked them in there?” Lance questioned in disbelief. Pidge nodded nonchalantly. The two paladins sat on the floor of Lance’s room. “Wow, Coran’s got more nerve than I give him credit for.”

Pidge adjusted their laptop screen and ran another simulation. Lance watched attentively as the screen displayed what was the range and durability of the pods of the castle of lions.  The blue paladin’s shoulder was smushed right on their own. Pidge wanted to pretend the proximity didn’t faze them but they were sure they could feel a slight blush on their pale skin.

                “Yeah, let’s just say even though they managed to work things out, there’s still someone who’s getting the cold shoulder.” The engineer informed but their small smile expressed that Coran’s stay in Allura’s dog house would be short lived.

                “Ha, well I guess he should count his blessings, most people that come up against either of those two don’t leave without a solid ass kicking.” Lance joked.

                “True.” Pidge agreed happy to see Lance energetic enough to make a joke. “Okay, so this is just a brief demonstration,  it’s a 3D render I created using one of Coran’s old instructional videos.”

                “So one of these pods would take 10 times the speed to travel anywhere that the lions could on the regular.”

                “Well technically it’s 9.3425 times-.”They paused as Lance rolled his eyes and elbowed him for his rudeness. He let out a small groan but kept a smile. “But yes, **our** lions are much faster.” They emphasized, unhappy with the way he was distancing himself from the team.

                “Cool.” He shrugged as started to notice the proximity between them. He scratched his head and scooted a little to the left though he instantly missed the warmth their body provided.

                “Very.” Pidge added uneasily as they noticed his movements.  “…so um… I mean I could program this into your room’s computer… and other stuff about the castle, since you’re suddenly the castle’s handyman.”

                “Hey gotta start being useful!” he countered with a smile Pidge wished wasn’t so forced.

                “Lance, you’ve been useful since day one.” They started. “We wouldn’t-

                “Man! We’ve been cooped up in here forever!” he announced stretching obnoxiously. “Aaalright!” he began reaching out for their hands. Pidge took a second but then realized he wanted them to stand with him. “No use just staying here, let’s hit the pool or something! I mean almost died, I need to live a little!” His grip didn’t loosen as Pidge stood. The green paladin looked up him with piercing, concerned eyes.  At that moment his façade melted and the burden in his heart became legible on his face.

                “Lance…” Pidge called out unskilled in the art of comfort though they would’ve trade every other skill they had at that very moment for such a gift. “I- I just- you are-

                “What up,Lance!? Guess who found seeds from an alien planet that taste just like potato chips?” Hunk announced barging into his fellow paladin’s room.  The food enthusiast took a glance at his colleagues’ intertwined hands. “Uh am I… interrupting something-

                “I’m not even gonna dignify that question with a response.” Pidge retorted as they and Lance quickly gave each other some much needed space. They adjusted their glasses while hoping their fair complexion was not betraying them by turning beet red.

                “Right, whatever. Seeds that taste like chips!!”

                “are you sure they’re safe?”

                “well only one way to find out, come on use your 4th grade level Altean and read the label.”

                “I’m a 9th grade level actually!”

                “right, right.”

                “Lance, you coming?”

                “Yeah- I would but I’m totally beat.” He faked a yawn. “I’m gonna take a shower and call it a day.”

Hunk and Pidge gave each other a knowing glance; he was clearly lying. The yellow paladin gave him a smile.

                “… alright… we’ll save you some- well I’ll try but-

                “No worries, I’m good.” Lance reassured as he exited the room. He restrained himself from looking back at Pidge but he could feel their worried eyes burrow into his back. The door shut automatically at his dismissal.

                “…if that isn’t the biggest lie I’ve heard in a while.” Pidge commented with less sarcasm and more concern than they planned.

                “sooo…”

                “don’t you even-

                “what was with the hand holding?” Hunk teased folding his arms knowingly.

                “he was just helping me up.”

                “uh huh and since when do you need help doing that?”

                “he just reached out, it’s just something you do without thought.” The engineer retorted.

                “uh huh, sure.”

                “don’t make this a thing.” They sighed as Hunk’s face was now curved into a permanent smile.

                “Listen, I love him, too, so I don’t get why you’re trying to be all secretive about it.”

                “You’re implying another kind of love.” Pidge corrected.

                “I didn’t imply any particular kind of love, if anything you’re implying that I’m implying.”

                “I… ugh you know what- sure whatever! You’re just gonna think, what you’re gonna think.”

                “You know at the Garrison he used to brag about you being on our team.” Hunk reminisced, remembering Lance’s bombastic talk about the other engineer. _“Oh of course the technician of our team is in the top 10% of the class, where else would they be assigned?”_

                “That’s funny.” Pidge smiled closing their eyes and immersing themselves in memories.

                “What?”

                “He used to brag about you too.” The green paladin announced.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Lance let the water from the pool fully cover him as he floated on the surface. He said shower but all he wanted was to feel cool water over him.  Water always seemed to have a calming effect on him. He sighed shifting his body into a ball and sunk to the bottom. Lately, however… all it did was make him relive the moment that confirmed all his doubts…

                _“Get him into the bath, there is no time!” he heard a woman shout, then fuzzy voices and loud cries. “…please warrior… open your eyes.”_

_He heard a native dialect being chanted and his body began to cool from the burning sensation of the serpent’s venom. The warmth of the sun from the temple’s skylight reflected on the water and created a healing glow as the Shaman continued his prayer._

_“Open your eyes and see that your comrades fight for us, for you…”_

_At the sounds of woman’s supplications, he obeyed and pried his eyes open and the sight that he was sure the villager thought would bring him comfort, only brought him despair._

_“…Voltron…” he announced with raspy weak voice. There in the sky, as powerful and intimidating as ever was the Legendary Defender and all without him. Perhaps even in spite of him. He wanted to pretend it was the burns on his flesh that caused his pain and created the tears in his eyes but that wasn’t it. He shut his eyes but the image was burned in his mind._

_“Do not worry for them, they will return to you, safe and sound. Believe in them.” The villager soothed taking his hand._

_“Why should they? Why return for me?” He questioned as he drifted out of consciousness._

He gasped lightly for air as he came out the water and his memory. His face was creased up in pain when he heard a concerned cry.

                “Lance?” There by the side of the entrance was his rival giving him a look of worry he couldn’t stand.  “You alright?” he hated the sound of that question.

                “What- pssht I’m fine – scrapped my foot against the pool while doing a dive nothing major.” He reassured heading out of the pool by the steps. “I was on my way out, the water’s great, the heating system is awesome.” He dried himself off and headed for the exit.

                “You don’t have to go-

                “Yeah, I know but you like to do laps and stuff so…” he paused and his playful tone changed into something serious. “… I’m just getting out of the way.” He finished and exited from the pool chamber.

                “but you’re not in the way.” Keith corrected wishing his fellow paladin would have heard him.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

He told himself, _“just go to your room, just go to your room, you’re in swim trunks for Pete’s sake .”_ But a question had scarred itself into his heart and only one being had the answer. Besides what if… what if that person was still there? He envisioned Pidge’s toothy grin and the glow of their laptop lighting up their eyes as they looked up at him _. “That’s stupid, why would they be in my room without me?”_ His bare soaked feet took him to the hangar as if on autopilot while his mind flooded with thoughts on the team’s tech expert.

                The way their voice called out to him. It was like a balm on the wound on his heart. He’d have his flirtations with Allura and others but not them… it didn’t seem right.

_“It’s because when you think of them you feel something else…” his heart scolded._

                “ _They’re a paladin, it’d be the stupidest thing to do, if it got ugly, the team would suffer_.”

                _“You’re assuming they’d be interested.”_

                “… I guess I am.” He voiced out loud. He came out of his thoughts and realized he’d reached the blue lion’s hangar. He felt a chill as the droplets from his wet hair ran down his body. He let out a wrenching sigh and established his telepathic link with his lion.

                _“It’s been a while, Blue but I need to ask you something… No, it’s not about Allura, well I mean kinda- No, no I’m grateful.”_ He replied to their concerns.

                _“That day… when we met…”_ he paused. _“You chose me out of all of them, why?”_

_“Answer me this, why were you there?”_

                _“Because my friends were.”_ He replied matter-of-factly.

 _“The answer you seek is in your own heart, I see it clearly, while you let doubt cloud it.”_ She advised. _“Lift away from your fog of indecision and you will have your answer.”_

                _“What, Blue, no! No riddles!  why did you let me pilot you…? Keith, Shiro, any of them could have? Why me?”_ The lion growled but gave no answer. Lance balled up his fists in frustration. _“You know how much I miss home, my family, earth!? What’s the point of all this! You could’ve brought them without me!”_

                “There were four people in that cave!” he shouted with his voice. “Why me!?” he demanded with a cry.

                “Lance?” He heard it… that voice that build him up and broke him down. Tears streamed down his face as he caught the heart wrenching look in their eyes. “Lance, what’s going on here-” Pidge started but his arms embracing them cut them off.

It took Pidge a moment to register what was happening but as they did they placed their small hands on his back and held him as tightly as they could while he sobbed. At their reaction, his body gave in and he fell to his knees onto the small puddle of water his soaked body created. His face buried itself in their chest while his wet auburn hair dampened their shirt.

The green paladin cradled him until the sound of his muffled cries stopped. What could they say? What should they say?

                “I miss them… I miss them so much.” He whispered. “I’m just so scared that they’ll never know what happened, that I’ll never see them again.” Pidge bit their lip as memories of when they first lost Matt and their father flooded in. “Pidge, I just feel so…”

                “I know, Lance.” They comforted. “We know, don’t be ashamed to feel this, don’t think we’re stronger than you… there are nights were all I do is cry myself to sleep… and I can promise you the others have their moments.” Pidge loosen the embrace gently to look him in the eye. “Don’t try to hide this from us, we’re your friends.  You don’t have to do this alone.”

The blue paladin fell silent. The words he wanted to share stopped at his throat. _“What if I don’t want to do this at all… what if I’m not like the others…”_

                “I’m here, Lance, I’ll…” they paused as his celestial blue eyes locked onto theirs. “I’ll always be here for you.” They promised tightening the embrace.

Lance’s heart sunk despite the warmth and kindness their promise carried. _“But what if I won’t always be here for you? What happens when you realize I’m just a self-centered jerk?”_ They let the embrace linger too long but neither of them said a word. Something just felt right about holding him in their arms and him listening to their heartbeat.

To be continued…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again the grammar. That's a really 'my bad.'


	4. Facade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for all the kudos! and to the lovely soul that left a kind comment thank you !  
> This pairing doesn't get enough love and if I can do it any kind of justice that makes me so happy!

 

Pidge didn't close their eyes the entire night. They could to still feel his cold body clinging to them. Did they say the right thing? Should they have stayed with him? Their analytical mind raced a mile a minute in the emptiness of their room.

 _“Machines are so much easier to fix.”_ they mused. _“Loose wire, corrupted data- easy. Broken hearts and homesickness? What can I do for that?”_

Not too far was the subject of their thoughts as unable to sleep as they were.  His face burned a warm red as he remembered Pidge’s rapid heartbeat as they made their promise.

_“I’ll always be here from you.”_

The solidarity of that vow rung in his head. How did they feel about him? Did they feel anything at all? He sighed. Defeating a 10,000 year old reign of evil almost sounded easy compared to dealing with this kinda of stuff.

Their declaration of similar struggles didn’t bring the comfort he was sure Pidge expected him to feel.

 _“They’re all going through so much… Shiro, Keith, Allura, even Hunk.”_ He mulled. _“How can I even compare what I’m going through to them?”_ and then there was that person’s confession.

_“There are nights were all I do is cry myself to sleep.”_

The thought of Pidge muffling their cries in the night stabbed daggers into his heart. _“They shouldn’t be the one worrying about me; it should be the other way around.”_ He shut his eyes in frustration. _“If I was strong enough… but I’m not! I’m the idiot in the comma or down went it counts.”_ He thought. _“I can’t help them! I can’t help anyone- all I’m doing is being in the way.”_

He broke out of his bed and opened up his room’s computer.  Math and engineering may not have been his specialty but he knew enough to land him at the Garrison, after all even pilots had to understand basic engineering. He let the hologram float in his room as it mapped out their position in the current star system. 10 earth cycles the machine read as it calculated it’s trajectory from the castle to earth.

10 days to reach earth if he took a pod, 10 days to regret leaving his team, 10 days to forget them, 10 days to accept it was for the best.

                “This isn’t some simulation at the Garrison; it’s a war…” He whispered to himself. “… I won’t hold this team back anymore.” He looked to the left of the screen and noticed Pidge’s signature icon at the bottom of the 3D render. His blue eyes shined with tenderness. “I won’t hold _you_ back anymore.” He whispered finally feeling true determination in his heart.

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                Pidge finally woke up to the sound of, to their surprise, Lance and Keith bickering. The technician rushed to place their glasses on and exit the room. Their door hissed open and they could hear the two paladins from across the hall.

                “I didn’t use your stupid avocado mask, you idiot!”

                “Oh so your greasy face just miraculously got rid of all those blackheads all on its own!”

                “What! Watch who you’re calling greasy Primadonna!”

                “Half the jar gone! And you suddenly don’t look like you crawled out of a dumpster!”

                “You know what-.”

                “AHH I CAN’T TAKE IT THE GUILT IS EATING ME ALIVE!” Hunk confessed interrupting the Texan. “Lance, best bud, it was me.” He finished sheepishly.

                “Hunk stop trying to cover for Keith, your pores look worse than ever so I know it wasn’t you!”

                “first of all, hurtful!” Hunk commented. “Secondly… I didn’t exactly use it for its intended purpose.”

                “you didn’t…” Lance narrowed his eyes in horror.

                “I needed guacamole for my chips!”

                “HUNK THAT STUFF COSTS A FORTUNE AND YOU ATE IT!” Lance shouted tackling his friend. Keith laughed at the two wrestling on the ground.

                “Lance one day you’ll understand!” Hunk retorted, defending himself with an improvised sumo move. “It was for the greater good!” he added with guilty dramatics.

                “It was for your greater hunger!”

                “Did more for him than it’s ever done for that tragedy of a face, McClain!” Keith jeered.

                “What did you say, Kogane?” Lance demanded. “I couldn’t hear you over your cheap haircut!”

                “That’s it I’m gonna-.” The red paladin didn’t even finish his sentence as he and Hunk dogpiled on Lance. The Cuban boy’s cries were heard even from the hangar. The three boys wrestled without mercy until they heard the muffled laughter of their technician. Pidge held a hand over their mouth but they couldn’t believe how stupid their teammates were.

                “What is going on in here?” Allura demanded with Shiro right beside her crossing his arms.

                “Hunk ate my Avocado mask!” Lance announced defeated face down on the ground while Hunk had him pinned to the ground and Keith sat on his back.

                “I said I was sorry!”

                “No, you didn’t!”

                “Alright, alright break it up you three!” Shiro ordered. “Let’s get some breakfast and save that energy for training.”

The three paladins did as order of course Keith and Lance snuck a shove and elbow to each other’s ribs before complying.

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Pidge couldn’t believe it, just like that he had snapped to his old self. The technician watched as Lance fed the mice while he managed to be the “bigger man” and forgive Hunk for his betrayal. The engineer forced him into a bear hug and Keith smirked at sight of the sharpshooter turning blue from the embrace. Had their talk really been that effective? Did their word mean that much to him?”

_“I’ll always be here for you.”_

They blushed slightly as they knew those word carried affection that a simple friendship did not encompass. Pidge felt a small nudge on the side of her arm and looked over to see Shiro glancing down at their untouched plate.

                “I’m glad to see him in better spirits too but he might not feel too comfortable with you gawking at him.” Their leader whispered.

Pidge turned a humiliated red. Gawking? They’d been gawking at him? How long? Was it that noticeable? Could he tell? They didn’t dare look up at the other side of the table to find out. Shiro let out a small chuckle.

                “Well, then we haven’t had breakfast this lively in a while.” Coran commented. “It’s a good change of pace.”

                “Probably just these three getting cabin fever.” Shiro remarked. “It’s been a few days since we had a serious mission.”

                “Guess you knuckleheads have to make things chaotic when we have a little peace.” Pidge quipped with their usual biting humor. Lance threw them a dirty look but it didn’t register with the tech expert. He let out a smile in turn.

                “A little peace.” Allura echoed gently. “Its luxury we haven’t had in some time.”

                “Hate to sound crass but we can’t get too used to it.” Shiro warned. “Our enemy is still out there and we need to be ready.”

                “Since when does he hate to sound crass? That what he always sounds like.” Lance whispered to his side of the table.  Hunk and Pidge stifled a laugh, even Keith let out a smirk.

                “Lance.” Shiro called out in a warning tone.  The blue paladin straightened up. “Leave the sharpshooting to your weapon and not your mouth. Everyone, I should see you in the training room in 10 minutes.” He announced with a smile taking his leave.

                “You heard him, bring your  A game, McClain.” Keith teased punching Lance’s arm and exiting the dining room.

                “Ugh he’s so lame.” Lance rolled his eyes. “ _Bring your A game_.” He mocked. “psht I have no other game but my A game.” He announced.

  
                “No arguments here.” Hunk patted him on back. Pidge looked up from their plate to see Lance sneaking a glance at them.

                “If what we’ve seen so far is your A game, you might be working with another alphabet.” They teased with a smirk. “Let’s see if you can back up that talk.”

                “Better clean those glasses cuz your about to see it all!” He challenged.

                “yeah sure.” They agreed sarcastically but their smile had an honest gleam to it Lance didn’t miss.

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From that night, Lance had decided that if this was the last time he was going to be with his team, he wouldn’t waste time explaining things to them. He just wanted it to be the best day he could muster. He wanted to see his team smile and laugh even someone as uptight as Shiro or Keith. Training had been the best place to do it. Even Pidge dropped their guard at the sight of Lance teaching the drones how to do the robot and broke into laughter. Shiro gave him a good scolding but it was worth it to see Hunk bust a gut.

Keith and Shiro were much harder to get a laugh out of but not impossible. He’d challenged Shiro to hand-hand combat saying he was feeling like he could take on anyone today. Shiro kind as he was praised his enthusiasm but warned him of his overconfidence.

Keith Kogane laughing was a rare sight but today was a rare day. Every move Lance even thought of Shiro expertly countered. Shiro in his good sportsmanship never bragged instead gave the blue paladin advice on how to better execute his assault though maybe his leader felt any kind of bragging would have been redundant with the sound Keith laughing in the background. Training was coming to an end and he’d only managed to make 3 out the 4 other paladins laugh. Shiro was a challenging guy to entertain but Lance wasn’t about to give up.

The blue paladin had one last move. Shiro had expectedly countered his flip kick and pinned him to the ground. At that very moment Lance started howling in pain like an animal. _“AAhh Shiro, my arm!!”_ His leader, ever the mother hen, immediately released him only to have Lance latch on to his upper body with his legs and flip him beneath him and reversed their positions with him at the top.

The moment happened so fast, it took everyone a moment to register what just happened. Lance had just pinned Shiro… he cheated but he still pinned Shiro.

The black paladin’s laugh echoed in the training room.

  _“Lance, that was so stupid.” he chuckled. “A move will never work on a real opponent; they don’t care if you’re hurt.”_

_“Didn’t want to beat a real opponent just kinda wanted one win against you.” Lance admitted sheepishly as he stood up and offered Shiro his hand. His leader let out a soft, fatherly smile._

_“You’ll have plenty if you keep taking your training seriously.” Shiro reassured taking his hand firmly._

The moment echoed in Lance’s mind as he removed his paladin uniform. He took it off slowly- almost ceremoniously after all this would be the last time he wore it. Not in a battle but training with his comrades.  His lips broke into a bittersweet smile. That seemed appropriate, after all it had never been about the battles or fighting, it was being a team, being together that had made being a paladin all worth it.

Unbeknownst to him, Pidge had entered the room, they had come in beaming with a smile but then they saw it, that crack in his façade and saw that same heartbroken expression. Pidge froze as the weight of this knowledge heaved against their heart. Everything… it had all been an act, the smiles, the jokes, everything… had last night when he thanked her, when he held onto her… was that also nothing?

Their talk had solved nothing… their vow meant nothing… They quickly exited the room before Lance realized they had entered.

                “Hey, Pidge is-

                “I’ll be in my room.” The tech coldly dismissed Hunk’s call brushing past him quickly and before they realized it they were running to their room.

                They locked the door behind them as if someone was chasing after them. Pidge slumped down onto the room floor defeated, unaware of how to treat the pain that whelmed up in their chest.

                “Why can’t I help anyone…” they whispered as a small tear ran down their cheek.

To be continued...


	5. Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might not be able to update next weekend so I thought I'd update as much as I could.

“Lance, I keep telling you, it’s the discs in the teledove you’ve got to worry about lubricating not the areas around it.” Coran scolded.

                “Ugh but they look so dirty.” The blue paladin retorted scrubbing the grime of every part of the equipment.

                “You’re wasting basic supplies!” the steward reprimanded. “It’s only to be used on the lenses!”

                “Alright, alright you nag worse than my Abuelo.” Lance dismissed with a wave of his hand.

                “Hmm?”

                “Sorry, it means grandpa in my language.”

                “I thought the english tongue was your language?”

                “Ha well sorta the Garrison is an American school so you kinda have to know English but I’m from a small Island on earth.”

                “Oh… what’s it like?” Coran asked in genuine curiosity.

                “What’s it like?! How do I describe mi Cuba… it’s like- it’s like paradise with its crystal waters- oh and beautiful girls.” He wagged his eyebrows only to receive a laugh from the Altean.

                “Well son, when this is all over, I’d like to see your Cuba… if that’s alright.” Coran asked humbly.

                “Alright? You’d better.” Lance demanded. “If there’s anyone who could use some R and R on this ship it’s you!” placing his arm around the castle steward.

                “Sun and crystal water huh?” Coran repeated. “That’s quite a home to go back to.” There was hint of melancholy in his voice that Lance didn’t miss.

                “Yeah … it is.” He agreed in a more serious voice.

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                “Hey.” Hunk called out arriving back from the hangar alongside Keith and Shiro in full paladin armor into the control room.

                “Whoa did something happen?” Lance asked.

                “Nah just a nearby moon had some supplies the princess needed to pick up, we told Coran but he said he needed you here.” Hunk explained.

                   “What did you need?” Lance asked.

  
                “They look like packing peanuts.” Keith somberly commented.

                 “well I don’t know what those are but Kizneu is pivotal for us to have as protectors of the innocent.” The princess stated. “They bind any wound in just a tick, had we had this last time, we might have been able to treat more villagers.”

                “Pidge would probably figure out how these suckers work in a minute.” Lance commented squishing the item between his fingers. “Where is Pidge anyways?”

                “Goo didn’t sit too well with them.” Hunk answered. “Said they were feeling like they had a stomach flu or something.”

                “I offered the cryochamber.” Allura added. “but they said they just needed to take it easy.”

                “Sensitive with food sometimes comes after long journeys in space it’s nothing odd.” Shiro explained. “They’ll be alright after a little rest.”

                “Huh, okay…” Lance replied though something didn’t sit right with him.

                “So Lance since you’ve been totally coasting for a couple days, Me and Keith got caught up on this Altean trilogy, listen, I have no idea what the heck they're saying but the action is solid and the explosions are rad!” Hunk energetically offered. “We’re having a re-watch marathon, you in?”

                “Any cute babes?” He inquired.

                “Has there ever been in action movie in history that didn’t have cute babes?” Hunk corrected.

                “Touché, my friend, I am in.” Lance agreed as the two high fived. Keith just rolled his eyes.

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They ended up watching in the common area where even Allura and Shiro joined in. Lance barely paid any attention to the film all he could concentrate on was trying to absorb this moment. Hunk and Keith being friends and bonding did make him feel a ting of jealousy but it also made him realize that it would make his absence a lot easier for Hunk to accept. The older members of the team talked amongst themselves so tranquilly, a part of him wondered if there was something going on between Shiro and the princess he’d never bothered to pay attention to. There was just something about the way they looked at each other and the way their body language expressed a comfort he rarely saw in the two that made him suspicious.

He left those thoughts behind him as both of them seemed like they were too no-nonsense to ever have romance on the mind. Pidge’s absence rung loudly in the room during films like this they’d start talking about how the properties of basic physics would never have allowed half the stuff that happened in the film to exist. However, a part of him was glad they weren’t here. He wasn’t sure how long he could keep his act up around them. Those amber eyes  that could read maps and stars from other worlds seemed to look right through his soul.

Night came quickly and everyone shuffled into their rooms. Hunk gave Lance brief hug and to his surprise the blue paladin made it last just a little longer. Shiro and Allura had exited long before the three movies ended. Keith mumbled something unintelligible and slumped off to bed.

He was the last one in the common room. He stood in the middle of it and absorbed the silence that floated in the air due to the team’s absence. Lance took a deep breath. It felt like emerging himself in freezing water. Just like cold water though, he knew he would adjust.

The night before he had prepared everything… the food, the map, his goodbyes… at least his goodbyes to everyone except _them_ …

… He didn’t know how to say goodbye to Pidge… maybe it because if there someone he desperately didn’t want to stop seeing… it was them.

He entered the control room with Coran’s credentials and pulled up a blue screen. He looked for the Altean symbols he was looking for. “Bingo.” He whispered finding the same lockdown code Coran had used on Shiro and Allura on all the doors of the Paladins’ room.

When he activated the hangar he knew the others would be notified however this would stop them from interfering for two hour.  Long enough for him to get away, long enough for them to see his goodbye message, and long enough for them to understand he shouldn’t be here with them.

He reached the hangar and ran past the lions’ wing; He couldn’t-- just like Pidge… He couldn’t bring himself to say goodbye to Blue.

The pod he’d prepared while working with Coran was waiting for him only a few feet away but every stepped felt heavier and heavier.

 As the lights of the hangar flashed on he finally saw them leaning against the pod looking at him with their furious amber eyes. _“Damn it.”_ He cursed.

                “Wow…” Pidge expressed in a deadpan voice while clapping. “this is… this is really impressive you did all this in a few days… couldn’t have been since last night--  you’ve really been thinking about this for a while.”

He gripped his backpack tighter; it was a truth he didn’t even want to admit.

                “Pidge-

                “Shut up!” They demanded. “All you’ve done is lie, this entire day, this entire week? Maybe since I met you!”

He took a deep breath. _“This is just cold water, Lance… you can do this.”_ He opened his eyes.

                “Maybe… I guess it takes a liar to know one right?”

                “what are you-”

                “Katie, right?”

                “How dare you compare-

                “Because it’s the same!” He shouted. “I have been trying so hard to be something I’m not and… I’m tired, Pidge… I’m tired and I’m scared.” He admitted “that’s why you told us the truth right? Because lying all the time it just – it just eats away at you.”

                “Then stop lying! Let us help you!”

                “THIS IS THE LIE!” he shouted so harshly Pidge took a step back. “All this-- being a paladin, a hero- warrior- whatever its not me! When I saw Voltron…” he paused to shut his eyes. “I realized I’d been lying to myself and all of you… you don’t need me- you never have.”

                “That’s not a decision you get to make for people, Lance, you don’t get to tell us what we need!” They shouted.

                “If you stop me now, nothing is going to change.” Lance promised. “I know it in my heart… I DON’T BELONG HERE!”

His words rung through the whole hangar and echoed so loudly Pidge swore they’d slapped them in the face.

                “you don’t believe that…” Pidge started trying to come closer to him.

                “yes, I do.” He declared solemnly.

                “Then why are you crying?” The technician asked softly. Lance’s eyes widen in disbelief, he touched his face to feel the stream of tears that fell from his eyes. He closed his eyes and grit his teeth.

                “because I wish it wasn’t true…” He admitted. “I wish I wasn’t a homesick coward who always got in the way.”

                “You’re so stupid!” Pidge exclaimed wrapping their arms around him. “You’re not any of those things.” He froze up at the feel in their arms around him filling him with that warmth he could immerse himself in forever.

                “Allura can pilot Blue… anyone can pilot Blue…” He explained wrapping his arms around their small frame. “I don’t want to die in vain, Pidge, I’m not a hero.”

                “Blue chose you.” Pidge remarked grabbing him tighter. “That means something, Lance, I swear to you that means something.” If they could understand how every word they spoke only brought another stone to crush his resolve under. A long pregnant silence followed their words. His only response was to tighten the embrace “please…please say something.” They begged.

                “I don’t want to say anything…” He admitted. “I want to have this moment and remember it as long as I can.” He whispered. Pidge’s eyes widened in horror. His mind hadn’t changed even for one instant.

                “Don’t leave and we can have this moment as long as you want us to!” the green paladin declared. “We can have as many moments as you like.” they promised.

Lance took a deep breath… “Cold water…” he whispered without realizing he’d said it out loud.

                “What?”

He loosened the embrace and held onto their shoulders staring at their eyes and they at his. Cold water… that what his eyes looked like at that moment. Pidge restrained the urge to stroke his crying face. Lance let his hands drop to his sides and into his pockets, the distance between them was less than two feet but it felt like miles.

                “Pidge…” he called out. “Would you-- would you just take my hand?” he asked in such a defeated tone the thought of not complying didn’t reach them until it was too late. As their hand touched his own a golden band wrapped around their wrist and with a swift motion he had handcuffed them to a pillar in the hangar. A trick he learned from a previous heartbreak.

                “what!” The technician whispered still in shock of what had happened.

He walked away from them, heading for the control panel, programming the hangar doors. She shouted a thousand things at him curses, swears. He ignored it all as he programmed the pod’s coordinates.

                “Did it mean anything?” Pidge asked in soft voice as their voice had become weak from shouting at him. “Did my promise mean anything to you?” The green paladin bit their lip to muffle a sob.

At the sound of their cries, Lance stiffened and looked back. The pod was just about ready, he was so close—if he didn’t stop now, he would be that much closer to earth. He clenched his jaw as he heard another sob.

                “It meant everything, Pidge.” He admitted. “I keep thinking back… at the Garrison where all this started and I realized if I would have never met you, I’d never be here. I would have never been on that rooftop.  I would have just been a regular Garrison student who the government would have asked to disregard the noise. I wondered for a long time if should I hate the fact that I met you.”

The question felt dense in the air and Pidge closed their eyes to stop another onslaught of tears.

                “But then I realized I couldn’t- I couldn’t have.” He paused to smile. “ that moment-- even if I tried to hate it I couldn’t – because of that moment--  I met you… and I-I traveled the galaxy, fought evil aliens, and protected innocent people, and for one brief moment in my life… I was someone special… and I owe that to you.”

They opened their eyes as tears poured out of them only to see Lance was crying too.

                “Lance you are-

                “If there was anything I could do over and over, a thousand times, in a thousand lifetimes…” he started. “It would be to meet you, Katie Holt… a thousand times.”

Pidge had no words only an agonized cry of his name as he entered the pod. The rest was so fast and so blurry through their tears in felt like it happened in seconds. Just like that the universe had decided Katie Holt should lose another person they loved.

To be continued…


	6. The Burden

The group had managed to escape their rooms under Lance’s planned two hours. However, the group was quite split on what course of action to take. Shiro advocated that they couldn’t just force him to rejoin. Allura felt if she could just speak with him and make him understand why he and blue had an honest connection, she could convince him to come back.  Keith was livid at his “betrayal” and tried to pass of his lament as anger. Hunk replayed the audio of Lance’s farewell to him over and over as the shock and disbelief of his best friend’s abandonment had rendered him mute. Pidge was in a similar state sitting at their station saying nothing.

Shiro was the first to arrive to the hangar. He wasted no time in removing them from the alien restraint. He asked for an assessment of the situation if any enemy had snuck on board or any other life threatening situation.  They softly broke the news to him only to have their leader widen their eyes in disbelief. The rest of the team shortly followed and their reactions were one in the same.

                “He disabled the tracking system but he won’t be too hard to find after all we know his destination.” Coran commented as he scanned for a signal of Lance’s pod. “…I can’t help but feel responsible, your highness.” The Steward confessed. “I can’t believe I never put it together all his questions and his odd behavior.”

                “You mustn’t blame yourself, Coran.” Allura comforted. “None of us saw any signs of him making a decision this rash.”

At the sound of the princess’ declaration Hunk scoffed loudly. The group turned to face his direction with puzzled looks.

                “pardon?” Allura started.

                “No offense, princess, but to say we had no idea Lance was going through some serious problems is the second biggest lie I’ve heard all week.”

                “I think what the princess meant was we didn’t know it would result in these kinds of actions.”

                “so as long as it didn’t mean leaving the team, we would’ve just kept ignoring it right?”

                “That’s not what we’re saying.” Allura retorted. “We’re in the middle of a war, it’s not uncommon for there to be moments of instability or-

                “that’s just it, me and Lance- we’re- we’re not space royalty or soldiers.” Hunk announced. “When we sink to the bottom, it’s not that easy for us to float back to the top.”

                “I know the last mission was close call for him but we all made efforts to reach out.” Shiro replied. “We can’t help if he won’t let us.”

                “No offense, Shiro but I’d stick to leading voltron because your  counseling skills suck.” Hunk admitted. “ you think some vague “we’re here for you” speech followed by an offer for extra training is really going to help a guy get over the fact he almost died lightyears away from his family.”

“Shiro not supposed to be a counselor; he’s got his own problems to deal with.” Keith defended. “It’s not fair to ask him to shoulder everyone else’s issues.”

                “But he’s just strong enough to carry yours, is that it?”

                “Excuse me?”

                “You heard me-

                “Hunk, son I think-.” Coran desire to defuse the situation went ignored.

                “Finding out you’re part Galra and ending up jeopardizing an entire mission just to find answers that Shiro can shoulder, right? Pidge’s missing family that he can shoulder right? But the minute Lance needs more than 10 minutes of you treating him like person and not a subordinate that’s too much!”

                “Hunk listen it’s clear Lance’s abandonment has you-

                “He didn’t abandon us, we abandoned him!” Hunk corrected the princess as his eyes welled up in tears. A long paused followed his declaration as everyone in the team looked down in some sort of shame. “… my best friend needed me… and I was too caught up in my own problems to care.”

                “You’re right…” Pidge admitted softly. They let out a withered defeated laugh. “It’s been there, right in front of us… I just thought- Hey! I’m suffering like hell too, this is just normal right?”

The group all held their tongue as the young technician’s admission was much too familiar.

                “but it’s not.” Hunk replied his voice a lot softer when it came to addressing his fellow engineer.

                “I’ve felt this pain for so long, Hunk...” Pidge admitted. “I’m starting to forget what life was like before it.”

The princess came over to Pidge and placed a comforting hand on their shoulder. The team took it’s time to let their failure towards their fellow paladin sink in.

Hunk exited the room in silence, Keith and Pidge followed only moments after.  Their exit let Shiro decompress from the situation as the defeated look on his team’s faces had taken its toll on him. He sat in his chair as the black paladin and let the weight of that responsibility wash over him. He closed his eyes and tried to remember every interaction he’d had with Lance. The more he remembered the more he realized his absolute failure to reach out to his so-called friend.

                “He’s right, they’re right.” He muttered softly. “Some leader I am… I can barely keep my team from falling apart.”

                “Leadership is a heavy burden.” Allura soothed. “If you place all fault onto yourself, you’ll never be able to move one foot of the ground.”

                “If I don’t accept responsibility for my failures then what does that show those who follow me?”

                “I’m not saying you don’t hold some blame but we’re called a team for a reason.” She started. “We all let Lance down.”

                “… maybe… maybe this is for the best.” Shiro admitted after a moment of thought. At the Altean’s puzzled look he explained himself. “ … Lance is in a rare position… no one else in this team can safely admit that their lion has a replacement.”

                “what are you saying?”

                “I’m saying this fight isn’t Lance’s and I’m starting to think it was wrong for us to make it so.”

                “Blue chose him.” Allura protested. “Centuries on your earth and he was the only one to awaken their quintessence. Shiro, I refuse to believe that wasn’t destiny, I refuse to believe he doesn’t have place by our side.”

                “of course he has a place.” Shiro corrected. “I’m saying he has something you and I don’t have.”

                “And that is?”

                “A home, Allura, a family.” he answered.

                “Shiro, your earth is precious to you too; don’t undermine your feelings for-

                “There’s no one wait for me, Allura…” Shiro admitted. “Or Keith, yes the earth is our home but everyone precious to me is here.”

                “Pidge and Hunk both have families too.”

                “more than half of Pidge’s family is missing in the depths of space and you and I both know Hunk understands how rare his personality type is and how if he walks away there’s little chance of finding someone to pilot the yellow lion.”

                “… You’re right.” She sighed.

                “Lance has a luxury none of us have, he can walk away knowing we can do this without him.” Shiro added. “And he has something to walk away for.”

                “Shiro… are you sure him leaving us is for the best?”

                “No, I don’t… to be honest with you, I’m starting to doubt my judgment about a lot of things.”

                “Your points are all valid but Shiro…” she started placing her hand on her heart. “I am a blue paladin and I assure you, his bond with blue is stronger than any I can forge. My heart is barely willing but his… I know his place is here.”

                “At the end of the day, the decision is his.”

                “Do you want him by our side?”

                “of course I do.” Shiro replied. “He’s a good man and unfortunately for us the universe has those in short supply.”

                “Lucky me, that I have four by my side.” She smiled.

                “Hopefully, that number will go back up to five. Shiro replied letting out a small smile of his own.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Hunk took a deep breath as he nervously knocked on Keith’s door. The lack of reply only worked on his nerves even harder.

                “… Keith, listen man…” Hunk called out. “you don’t have to open the door, just listen okay.” The engineer requested. “I don’t feel like what I said was wrong… but I do think the way I said it was. You being part Galra that’s no small thing and it’s not a bad thing either but I know it’s a sore spot for you and I know you and Shiro have a history way before all this so to compare what you’re going through to what me and Lance are going through is a little unfair.” He paused but only received silence. “… I get you’re still upset about what Lance did, I’m upset too, don’t get me wrong… it hurt… a lot but we have to see from his eyes too. In a way we all let him down- I mean  I know you’ve always been there for him in your own way, Keith and I promise you, he knew how much you cared… you know in your own emo way.”

                “That last part was a little unnecessary.” Pidge commented.

                “WHA-.” He cried out frightened by their sudden appearance. “What are you doing?”

                “Listening to your half apology, half pep talk- sorry to say he missed it—he’s in the training room right now.”

                “You could’ve stopped me at any time.” Hunk muttered with a blush on his face.

                “I feel like you really wanted to get that off your chest.” They replied letting out a small smile.

                “Yeah… little bit.” He agreed softly. “I’m sorry if I made it seem like-

                “Don’t.” Pidge scolded. “You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. You might be the only real friend Lance had on this team.”

                “That’s not true… before we were paladins, the three of us, we were a team.” Hunk reminded.

                “One built on lies.” Pidge sighed. “Though in retrospect, I guess this one was too.”

                “… Did you tell him?”

                “Hmm?”

                “Lance, did you tell him?” Hunk asked. “You were the only one of us he wasn’t able to lock away.”

                “Tell him that he was crazy for leaving and thinking we didn’t need him?” Pidge rephrased. “Of course I did.” Hunk shook his head.

                “No, I mean tell him about what you feel?”

                “And what exactly do I feel?”

                “Oh come on, after all this are you really going to be that juvenile about this?” Hunk reprimanded. “You had- excuse me _have_ feelings for Lance, serious ones.”

                “Like you do for Shay-

                “Don’t do that. Don’t cheapen my respect for her commitment to her people.” He scolded. “This is about you and Lance.”

                “There is no “me and Lance”.” They quoted. “He’s headed back to earth… there’s nothing we can do, Hunk… he really believes he isn’t supposed to be here.”

                “I can’t say I blame him.” The Samoan admitted. “It’s still surreal to me, even now.”

                “I can’t be a hypocrite. I’ve wanted out of this team myself but I’m smart enough to know I don’t have any real chance of finding Matt without you guys.”

The engineer scoffed at Pidge’s statement and gently patted their head.

                “you could do anything in this universe with that brilliant mind of yours.” He praised. “You stayed because you’re a good person and because you know we need you.”

The technician sighed. Hunk’s kind words were a comfort but they didn't stop the ache in Pidge’s heart.

      “Listen, I’ve known lance a long time.” Hunk comforted. “The way he is with you… I’ve never seen it before.”

      “Does that make me special or something?” Pidge questioned sheepishly.

    “Well he woke up from a coma to shoot a guy for hurting you so you tell me.”

     “I don't know…” they admitted. “And it’s not important anymore. He doesn't want to be here.”

      “Pidge, I listened to that message he left me at least a dozen times… He wants to be here but he thinks just because we can form voltron without him that we don't need him.”

      “that's so-- ugh! Of course we need him! There's been a ton of times he’s been the linchpin that held a mission together.”

      “ I know that, you know that!” Hunk agreed. “He's also just scared you know… heck I'm scared.”

      “He’s so much stronger than he gives himself credit for.” Pidge announced. “You too.”

      “Being at the Balmera changed me, it wasn't whether or not I can, I have to do this.”

      “He never got that.” Pidge admitted. “He got a coma… and still stayed.”

      “He misses them; he feels if he's being a seventh wheel than it's not worth risking his life.”

      “I can't blame him … there's been plenty of time I've put my family before this team.” Pidge confessed. “I can't say if could go back home and see Matt and Dad, I wouldn't take that option.”

      “We're anchored in this cold water… Lance isn't.”

       “What did you say?” Pidge’s heartbeat quicken as he used the same words Lance had used in his farewell.

        “It's this old thing Lance used to say, he used to sail a lot back home. Cold water, it's like an unbearable situation that you just gotta muster through until you get used to it.” Hunk explained.

        “unbearable.” they echoed. “He said that right before he left.  Was being on this team really so unbearable?” Pidge lamented placing their hands on their chest as a familiar ache burned in their heart.

Hunk shook his head and placed a fraternal hand on their hair.

        “Listen, I probably shouldn't have but I watched the security footage from last night.” he confessed. The technician blushed as they remembered the embrace she and blue paladin shared.  “I didn't listen to the audio but it was written all over his face. Pidge, what was unbearable to him was saying goodbye to you.” He clarified with a ting of jealousy in his voice.

    “Cold water... “Pidge’s voice cracked as they echoed his words. “ Yeah… I get it.” They couldn't muster any other disputes as tears stung their eyes. Hunk enveloped them in his arms giving them a consoling embrace. 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

                “Hey.” Keith greeted as the castle steward as he completed some routine maintenance on the castle’s mainframe.

                “Is there anything I can help you with?” Coran asked cordially.

                “Actually I was going to ask you that.” Keith started. “I know Lance isn’t here so just though… I don’t know- you could use a hand.”

                “I think I won’t be taking help for a bit.” Coran admitted. “If my bad mentoring is driving people of the team, I might want to leave it at just the one.”

                “You didn’t drive Lance away.” Keith comforted. “If anything I did…”

                “Don’t be preposterous.”

                “there’s nothing preposterous about it, I cut him down all the time- say things- I don’t know- things that friends probably shouldn’t say.” Keith admitted rubbing his shoulder in embarrassment.

                “He’s never been one not to pull his verbal punches either.”

                “It doesn’t matter, I can take it- it’s nothing new.” Keith argued.

                “It’s nothing new for him either.” Coran clarified. “Listen, son, you two may come from different walks of life but one thing is certain, you both have a warrior’s heart. Yes, you’ve mocked each other but that’s what friends do- they keep you humble, leveled.”

                “That’s just it… Shiro’s been the only friend I’ve had… I’ve never had someone like Lance or Pidge and Hunk… sometimes I feel so lost- like sometimes they’ll joke around the three of them and I’ll just stand there like-like I’m an alien.” He confessed as relationships were an odd and foreign field for the Texan after years of being alone.

                “Well speaking as one, let me tell you, it’s not so bad.” Coran reassured.

                “Ugh Coran, no I’m sorry there’s nothing wrong with being an al-

                “of course there isn’t. Keith, we all come from different places. Don’t let them fool you; those three are just as out of their element as you are. Lance feels the same way about being a Paladin that you feel about being part of a unit- a family.”

                “… I guess you’re right.” Keith admitted. “I never thought of it that way.”

                “Of course, I’m right.” Coran smiled but as quickly as it came it was gone. “I just wish Lance would have thought of it that way too.”

                “How could he just leave? He didn’t even talk to us about it… he’s so stupid.” Keith sulked. “All that talk about being in the way- ugh it’s just so annoying if he was in the way we would’ve already gotten rid of him. It’s not like dead weight is something we can afford while battling Zarkon.”

                “What if he was just homesick?” Coran asked. “Would you still be angry with him then?”

                “Of course! We all want to go home; it doesn’t mean we can just walk away.”

                “We all want to but not all of us can.”

                “We need him.”

                “Maybe so but not as Paladin, Blue can be piloted by any willing heart.”

                “My heart was more than willing when I went into those caves for weeks and got nothing.” Keith reminded. “Blue needs him.”

                “For the moment, the princess is able to satisfy Blue’s demands for a pilot.”

                “What are you saying; I thought you wanted Lance to come back as much we do.”

                “That’s the word, isn’t it?” Coran explained. “This team doesn’t need Lance. It _wants_ him here.”

                “The question is, does he want us?” Keith replied.

                “The real question is, is it fair to place that burden on him?” Coran added.

 

To be continued...


	7. That Voice

    As the reigning monarch, Allura had civilly called for a meeting in which the team discussed their collective choice of action: should they follow him or should they respect his wishes?

                “I know that if I had the choice, I’d want Lance with us.” Shiro began. “But we’re a team so I need to hear from all of you. Hunk, you and Pidge especially, you’re a lot closer to him than the rest of us.”

                “I’ve told you my opinion from the beginning; of course I think Lance should stay.” Pidge reminded.

                “Lance is my best friend, half the reason I’m out here is because of him, so yes I want him by my side…” He paused. “But things have to change; I don’t want him coming back if we’re just going to keep ignoring him when he needs us.”

                “Agreed.” Allura added. “Lance left for a reason, we have to let him know things will be different this time around.”

                “What if that’s not enough?” Keith somberly added. “He’s got his family waiting for him… is everyone here cool with asking him to abandon them for us?”

                “He thinks he doesn’t have a place here and that’s just not true.” Pidge commented.

                “he misunderstood so much…” Allura began in a regretting tone. “He thought when we explained to him, Blue would taking anyone so long as their heart was willing, that as long a person wanted to pilot the lion that’s all they needed but it’s so much more.”

                “10,000 years, clear evidence in that cave that others had explored it, heck I explored it!” Keith started. “Blue only wanted him… I can’t believe he’d think that it meant nothing.”

Hunk seemed to mull a thought over in his head and uneasy look in his eye made Shiro place his attention on him.

                “Hunk, is there something you’d like to add?” The leader questioned.

The yellow paladin bit his lip and looked up at him with a serious expression

                “Yeah… yeah, I think I do.” Hunk admitted. “… you know how the Garrison is picky chosey, you know only the best of the best?”

                “Sure, we know Lance is a skilled-

                “Just listen okay.” Hunk demanded softly. “What I’m going to tell you stays with you until you hit the grave, you got me?”

                “Geez okay, spill it already.” Keith agreed as did the rest.

                “Lance didn’t get into the Garrison’s top class on his own.” Hunk confessed.

                “So he cheated?”

                “It’s a little more complicated than that.”

                “Lance is pretty good though, are you sure?” Pidge questioned.

                “Lance is good but can you really tell me he’s fighter pilot material, listen he’s my best friend and he’s a good pilot but not the best.”

                “Well yeah, I was supposed to be-

                “Keith, you two shouldn’t have even been in the same classes.” Hunk corrected. “Listen these are his words not mine.”

                “He’s always been down on himself,  of course he’s think something like-

Hunk nodded his head correcting Pidge.

                “His family has connections; they… greased a couple of palms, called up some old friends from their military days.” Hunk explained. “They got the evaluators to _overlook_ certain things during his entrance exam.”

                “Did he know?” Shiro followed up.

                “Not until after… he compared his score to mine in the engineering portion… he knew something was fishy when he’s gotten a higher score than me, then he did some digging and well-

                “Where would his original score have taken him?” Pidge asked.

                “… Cargo pilot.”

                “Jeez…” Keith hissed. “That’s got sting.”

                “That’s just the entrance exam; I know plenty of students who under the right instructors would’ve made it to the top.” Shiro announced. “Lance wouldn’t have stayed there.”

                “Matt didn’t start out as an engineering pilot; he started in the home base program.” Pidge added.

                “Yeah well tell that to the McClain’s… I know they meant well and wanted to make Lance’s dream come true but… they didn’t even give him a chance.”

                “This doesn’t change anything for me.” Pidge announced. “We’ve seen what he can really do and I can tell you from experience the Garrison doesn’t know its ass from its elbow.”

                “I didn’t tell you this to make you think Lance shouldn’t be a pilot, I’m tell you this so you understand why he has such a hard time believing he can be one.”

                “It’s just one test-

                “but I’m guess it’s not the first time his family has intervene for his ‘benefit’.” Shiro added.

                “Bingo.”

                “Imagine years of people thinking you’re not good enough on your own.” Pidge lamented as they’d remembered their own family’s genuine encouragement. It’s sad how something so special was something Pidge had until this moment taken for granted.

                “Don’t get me wrong, his family they are really loving people. They’d walk through fire for Lance.” Hunk tried to explain. “They’re just so afraid of seeing him defeated.”

                “All their fear has done is turn them into the very people that have defeated him.” Allura commented.

                “Raising children is a lot harder than it sounds princess.” Coran reminded. “We all make mistakes.”

                “well that settles that for me.” Keith stated getting up from his chair. “We’re definitely the people he needs, we’re the family that’s gonna make him realize he’s more than cargo pilot material.”

                “Aw Keith, you really love Lance don’t ya?”Hunk cooed.

                “whatever.” Keith brooded trying to gain back his cold persona in the eyes of his team but their beaming smiles let him know they weren’t buying it. “That idiot’s coming back here even if I have to drag him here by his overly pampered hair.”

                “Question is how are we going t-

Before Shiro could finish his thought a distress message was coming through to their communications systems.

                “It’s Lance’s pod. It’s trying to make contact.”

At Coran’s statement, Pidge heart sank. Was it Galra? They shut their eyes and grit their teeth. The technician could barely deal with losing him to the earth but if they lost him to the Galra? They weren’t sure if they could even breathe properly while the tormenting thought lived in their brain.

                “Coran quickly patch us through!”

                “Idiot, didn’t take his suit or a weapon!” Keith scolded. “What did he think was going to happen when wander defenseless through space in Altean tech.” his hands trembled into fists.

                “We don’t know the situation, Keith.” Shiro calmed. “ The only way these pods can transmit from long ranges is through distress signals.”

                “God I hope you’re right.” Hunk muttered.

                “Connection established… I can’t seem to get any images but audio should be up.” Coran announced.

                “Lance? Can you hear us?” Allura asked biting her lip.

                _“Hello princess?”_ Lance replied over heavy static. _“I-_

                “Yes, Lance-

                “BUDDY WHAT’S WRONG? WE’LL BE THERE IN NO TIME!”

                _“What no, it’s alright I’m not under attack.”_

Those simple words gained a sigh of relief from everyone in the room.

“Did your pod explode? Because apparently it’s becoming a common issue.” Coran narrowed his eyes at the glasses wearing technician.

                _“No, I received a distress signal from my pod, It was too weak to reach the castle. They’re using a discreet frequency they hope isn’t detectable to the Galra.”_ Lance explained _. “Refugees from the mining colonies, their wearing those outfits we found Shiro in.”_

                “How do you know we can trust them?” Hunk asked. “Last time we helped stranded aliens you got your lion taken.”

                _“Well that’s not really an issue any more is it?”_ Lance corrected _. “Some need a cryochamber pretty bad.”_

                “It might be a trap but we’ll send a lion out and lay far off ready to wormhole out of there.”

                “ _Thanks, Shiro.”_ He replied. _“I told you they’d help… they’re the paladins of Voltron.”_ Lance commented away from the receiving mic probably unaware the team could hear. Pidge felt a pang in their heart as they heard the admiration his tone carried. They could hear a couple of voices sobbing in the distance. Tears of disbelief at their luck.

                “Lance…” Shiro called out. “We respect your decision but please do us one last favor.”

                “Like hell we do.” Keith muttered only to have Pidge elbow him in the stomach and shush him.

                “Shiro knows what he’s doing.” Pidge whispered.

                _“… yeah sure anything.”_ Lance replied hesitantly.

                “Please stay with them until we land and assess the situation so when back up arrives you can give us a full report.”

                _“Yeah, of course, not a problem.”_

                “You need us to bring anything for you?” Shiro added. “It’s only been half a day but it already feels like you’ve been gone for far longer. Be sure to pace your sleeping schedule, you don’t want to get caught off guard.”

                “You left in such a haste did you think your rations through, extra fuel?” Allura asked tenderly.

                _“Geez you two sound like my parents or something._ ” Lance taunted. _“I’m fine, though I did share some of my rations with the refugees, it’s been awhile since they’ve had anything.”_

                “We’ll bring some along.” Shiro replied. “Stay safe, ask them to dismiss their signal, better safe than sorry and just send Coran the coordinates.”

                _“Right, see you soon.”_ Lance awkwardly agreed. _“Lance out.”_

The group looked at each other with gentle smiles.

                “You can take the boy out of the lion.” Coran started.

                “But you can’t take the lion out of the boy.” Allura replied. “He couldn’t stop doing this if he wanted too.”

                “As its stands he really wants to.” Hunk reminded. “He didn’t sound like he planned on sticking around.”

                “So we’re going to have to convince him.” Allura announced. “Whoever goes needs to just tell him what we’re all feeling.”

                “Well I think if anyone should tell Lance what kinds feelings are going around, it should be Pidge.” Hunk started.

                “Hunk, not the time.” Pidge corrected. “It should be Shiro, he’s Lance’s hero after all.”

                “Hold on a tick.” Allura commented. “I think, I think Hunk might be right.”

“ Shiro’s already shown he can’t really deal with Lance’s issue so sending him would just be repeating the same mistakes.” Keith added.

                “Okay fine, then it should be the Princess.” Pidge refused. “If you take Blue and explain this whole heart of a paladin thing, He’d be more than willing to hear you out.”

                “Seeing me pilot Blue would only put salt on the wound.” Allura countered.

                “Oh come on, fine what about you, Mr. I’ll drag him by his hair?” The techie demanded.

                “yeah like he’s ever going to listen to me tell him what to do.” Keith retorted.

                “Coran you’re like an uncle to him.” Pidge pleaded desperately. “He’d definitely listen to you before he’d listen to me.”

                “I’ve only known the lad a few months and besides your both earthlings you can understand him better than I.”

                “Hunk?”

                “I’ve been his wingman for years. He’s not going to believe a word I say.” The engineer explained.

                “Do you guys really think, I’m the best candidate?” Pidge replied in disbelief.

                “He sees you as equals.” Shiro explained.

                “He’s not threatened by your talents.” Keith added.

                “But he also knows you’re brilliant so he trusts your judgment.” The princess replied as Coran nodded in agreement.

                “and he knows you’re a no nonsense kinda person, so it’s not like anything you say is there to boost his ego.” Hunk finalized for the group.

                “Unbelievable.” They muttered.

                “Face it, you’re the only one of us that’s going to be able to get through to him.” The yellow paladin confirmed.

The others voiced their agreements only to further add to Pidge’s outrage.

                “Well, then why wasn’t I able to stop him? Huh?” Pidge demanded their face hot with rage. “All I did was get myself handcuffed to a pole. He doesn’t care what I think.”

                “Pidge that’s not true.”

                “I begged him…” They admitted in humiliated voice. “and it didn’t matter.”

                “He thought it was pity.” Shiro explained. “That’s what he thinks our feelings are, if any one of us goes out there, he’ll never even give us the time of day.”

                “So what makes me different?” Pidge replied. “Because I said everything I could to get him to come back.”

                “Everything?” Hunk demanded.

                “This isn’t the time for nonsense, Hunk-

                “Alright, I tried to be nice about this.” Keith fumed. “It’s obvious that idiot feels something for you! Don’t ask me what—not my department—either way there’s a reason he didn’t leave you a good bye note and there’s a reason you were only one of us that smelled trouble before he pulled this stupid stunt so stop being so damn difficult and just get that moron back here!”

The team stared at Keith in shock at his outburst. Pidge blushed a burning red and balled up their fists at their side. They didn’t know whether to be furious or humiliated and settled for a strange combination of both.

                “Keith.” Shiro scolded.

                “I said what I said.” He muttered. “You want Lance back or what?”

                “… of course I do.” Pidge agreed softly.

                “Then stop acting like a wimp!” Keith demanded. “So what, he got one good move in with the handcuffs, I’ve seen you come back from worse in training.”

                “It’s not about the-

                “I know.” He replied letting is words break through to the green paladin. “Just kick his ass and drag him back here.” He put his arms on his head nonchalantly and headed for the door. “Man up, kid.” He finished dismissing himself from the room.

                “I’m not a-

                “I think what Keith was trying to say is… don’t let what happen last time discourage you from how much influence you have on him.” Allura explained. “He truly does respect you greatly.”

                “This just isn’t my department.” They admitted. “If anyone has the cure for a broken heart, I’m all ears.”

                “A good friend.”  Shiro announced placing his hand on their shoulder in a brotherly fashion.

                “He’s got plenty.”

                “He just needs the one, right now.” Shiro replied. “I’m counting on you, Pidge, get us our sharp shooter back.”

                “no pressure.” They mutter blushing. They lay their head in their hands letting out an exasperated sigh. “… desperate times, desperate measure, I suppose.”

                “that’s the spirit.” Coran encouraged.

                “Suit up.” Shiro directed. “Despite it all, this is still a mission, stay on guard.”

                “right.” Pidge agreed though their mind was on everything but possible combat. This was their last chance.  Would he listen? Could they really change his mind? In that moment as they proceed to the hangar their only thought were on how they knew Lance was supposed to be there right beside them all.

                _“You’re a paladin, Lance.”_ Pidge thought. _“I’m going to prove it to you…”_ they clutched at their freshly wounded heart. _“I just don’t know how.”_

And then they heard it: A loud, powerful roar; guttural, like a wounded animal trapped in a hunter’s cruel snare. 

_“Our hearts desire the same thing…”_

 A voice in their mind called out. It was deep and rich but soothing like the rhythmic  ocean tide.

                “What…” Pidge asked as the voice had not come from their own cherished lion. Flashes of memories of Blue’s happiness by Lance’s side flooded the green paladin’s mind.

The sensation of linking their mind with Blue was so different from being with Green. The bitter sweet emotions that washed over them like waves reminded Pidge of lukewarm ocean water in the evening right before the chill of the night seeped into it. Pidge thought of salt water and how its odd sensation resembled this melancholy feeling Blue shared with them as if the technician was being surrounded by the lion’s tears.

                “Oh Blue…” Pidge thought as they fell to their knees as the link had taken its’ toll on them. “… it’s not fair is it, why won’t he come back to us?” The technician asked bitterly. “We deserve better, don’t we, girl?”

The lion let out the same wounded roar. A growl that felt like it could shake heaven and earth.

                “Then let’s go… Lance McClain has a lot to answer for.” Pidge declared. “If anything, we deserve a real goodbye… after everything… He can cry and moan about us not needing him all he wants but he doesn’t get to ignore what we feel. Not this time.” The technician declared with a new found confidence that Blue had awakened in them.

 

To be continued...

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, so I am really sorry for the grammar errors.


End file.
